Keep readers hooked with a simple revision routine

Nobody's first draft persuades anyone — including mine. The difference between copy that informs and copy that converts is rarely the idea. It's the revision. Here is the four-pass routine I run on every page before a client ever sees it.

Pass one: cut the throat-clearing

Most drafts open with warm-up sentences the writer needed and the reader doesn't: “In today's fast-paced world…”, “We're passionate about…”. Delete the first paragraph of every section and read again. If nothing is lost, it stays lost. Aim to remove a fifth of the words before you change a single remaining one.

Pass two: clarify the promise

Every page makes exactly one promise, and every element serves it. Ask of each paragraph: does this move the reader one step closer to believing the promise? Anything that merely sounds impressive gets cut or moved to an appendix. A page with one job converts; a page with four jobs confuses.

“If I need a dictionary, a calculator and a patience reserve to understand your homepage, I will buy from whoever explained it plainly.”

Pass three: prove every claim

Adjectives are IOUs. “Leading”, “innovative”, “seamless” — each one borrows trust you repay with specifics: numbers, names, timeframes, guarantees. Go through the draft and attach proof to every boast, or downgrade the boast to something you can prove.

Where proof hides in your business

• Support tickets and reviews, in customers' own words
• Before-and-after measurements, however modest
• Process details competitors gloss over
• Names, places and dates instead of “many” and “often”

Pass four: polish the rhythm

Only now do you touch style. Read the whole thing aloud — yes, aloud — and fix every sentence you stumble over. Vary sentence length deliberately: a short sentence after three long ones lands like a drumbeat. Then stop. The fifth pass is where good copy goes to become fussy.

Run these four passes in order, on paper if you can, and your drafts will start arriving “almost there” instead of “needs work”. That gap is the whole job.